Testimonies of Sarina
Greetings my brothers and sisters in Christ.
About five years ago I was looking for work. I am a bookkeeper and it is worth noting that in Iran the socio-economic conditions, in particular for women, are hard and it is very difficult for us to find work. It was in a miraculous way that I was able to find employment in a large finance company and I was very satisfied with where I was working.
Three months into my job I was pleased to find out that several of my colleagues were Christians. I found it hard to believe and initially thought they were Christian-born, but they told me that they were not always Christians.
My immediate response was to ask them how come they hadnt been executed. Later I discovered that if you do not proselytize, they will imprison you, torture you and place you in solitary confinement, but they will not execute you. These guys had been through these things. I was highly fanatical and found it very difficult to just accept their religion.
When I first found out they were Christians I did not ridicule them, but I asked questions that I thought would demonstrate how they had made a grave error in being Christians. What surprised me was that they had answers to all my questions, and their answers showed inconsistencies in my concept of faith. I was zealous and did all the things a religious person does. I was always seeking Gods forgiveness and answers to my prayers based on bargains I tried to make with God. Then I came to know these new friends at work and the more questions I asked the more interested I became. They gave me a small New Testament and told me to read it and not ask them any questions at work. So, I read the New Testament with the aim of showing my new friends that the Bible was wrong, but as I read, I discovered that the things I thought were true, were lies.
At this point, I had been employed in the company for a year. Meanwhile, I had been experiencing difficulties with my husband and for four months I had been living with my parents. One of my Christian colleagues asked me,Why do you think you should separate from your husband?I said I believe God has shown me many signs I should separate and we werent really meant for one another when we married. He asked,Why do you think God has given these signs? Maybe it was Satan. After all, you also say that God doesnt like divorce.I replied that God sees my suffering and understands, so I must get a divorce. But he continued speaking with me and giving me advice, including that I should go back to my marriage and try to resolve the issues. I said to him,But I am the best, and everyone tells me so. To my surprise, he pointed out some of my shortcomings.
In the end, I listened and went back to my marriage, but I did so with a lot of pride. I wanted to show that I am the best and as my husbands family had been controlling him, I decided that I would take control. Everything became as I wanted it to be and my husband who had become very tender, told me,If you dont want my family just accept me.
I was now reading the New Testament while still continuing to observe prayer and fasting as I used to. One day, while breaking my fast in the evening, I said to God that I no longer knew what was right and that now I might well believe anyone who presented something as true. Then, for the first time, I addressed God as Father and asked Him to show me the truth. I spoke to Jesus and said,Show yourself to me.
After that, I gradually stopped observing religious rites. In truth, I dont know when it was that I became a believer in Christ. It was not a specific day. I just came to know Him little by little. One day in the library, my colleague who had been advising me prayed quietly for me and I wept. I was a Christian now, but I took advantage of Jesus and I thought to myself God has forgiven my sins, so I can do anything I want.But after a while, my brother in Christ said that the Lord had told him that he must let me be on my own. But I occasionally phoned him to ask questions. From then on, my marriage once again deteriorated and when we went for counseling, they told us that we must separate.
I asked a Christian brother, who was also my supervisor if God would forgive me if I divorced my husband. He gave me a lot of advice and helped me to understand my issues and mistakes: to recognize how I had continued living in sin even after I was following Christ and to change. It was last year that I recognized my sinful nature and understood that I was taking advantage of Christ. I began to study the Bible properly along with some other books. The Lord led me to leave my job to spend more time with Him.
We are constrained here, and our spiritual food is limited. I have not grown much in my faith and I am weak. I still live with my husband who is not a believer. I have many dreams, but I dont remember them and so dont know what God is telling me through them. I cannot concentrate and would love to learn to pray. I would really love to grow. I ask that you pray that I will know God more, and better, and to know the Holy Spirit.
My husband is really happy about the change he sees in me. I came to know about SAT-7 PARS via satellite. My brother in Christ told me that I can find good teaching through Christian satellite channels. I was thoroughly blessed by brother Gilberts testimony and I continue to be blessed by the worship music that you broadcast (I like the big amount of worship music which you broadcast). Thank you also for the books that you send us via Telegram and WhatApp, which help us to grow, and also for all your prayers.
Pray a lot for us in Iran, because we are really alone. Pray also for my brother in Christ who has been my guide he has been sentenced to be executed there is such suppression of Christianity in Iran.