Hello beloved. I hope that Jesus is your refuge. I am a new believer. When I had divorced my husband he died later on. I needed money, but I couldnt work, so I used to go into these legally approved temporary marriages, sometimes for a few hours, or a few days or months so that they would pay my expenses. Sometimes, I would remain in a relationship, which made a mockery of being a temporary wife and I asked myself what Im doing with my life. I told myself the main thing is to be happy.
A day before a temporary marriage, the man and I would go for a meal and I would tell him that I was troubled by being together in this way. So we would go to a shrine and consult at the office there to find out what I must do. They gave me a verse of scripture to read out before the man came to see me. They told me to set a figure for my dowry and once the man has accepted there would be no further impediment. As I had been through menopause I was told there would be no need to test for a prior pregnancy test.
So whoever came to me and invited me to dinner I readily accepted and went along on the understanding that we would make it official by entering a temporary marriage and the man would accept.
I sometimes would get a job, and at work, I would be asked to stay behind as there was more work to be done, and when there was no one around they would take advantage of me and not even pay me at the end. So I told myself I am working so hard for so little and then this happens to me, I might as well do temporary marriages. But it tormented me that I was subjecting myself to this way of living for a square meal.
After a while, I began to be uncomfortable and chastised myself for what I was doing for food and money. I could see that the men were taking advantage of me.
One day when I was on my own I wept and wept and spoke to God and asked Him, Can You not see that I am in need? Why dont you help me? Can you not see that I am being drawn into depravity? But, I heard no reply, and as usual, I did my daily prayers and read the scriptures.
Things went on as before until one day I was watching SAT-7 PARS program and the presenter said:If you would like your sins to be forgiven say this prayer and give your heart to God so your sins can be forgiven.I wanted to have my sins forgiven as I was aware of my sins. I prayed with the pastor and felt happier and then I was incredulous. How could it be possible to just pray watching TV and all ones sins to be forgiven? So I thought it is all lies and nonsense. I told myself I am a sinner through and through. I have sold myself, lied and gossiped. It isnt possible to have your sins forgiven.
I continued living as I had, until on a visit to see my son in Turkey I went to a church, where I was invited to pray the prayer of salvation. I didnt know what to say. I told myself ‘I have done this before’ but then I decided to do it one more time. So I went forward and prayed for me. I wept so much as I thought about my adultery, all the bad things I had done and also for selling myself just for bread, and because God was forgiving me with one prayer. I repented and they were all celebrating.
Still, I did not dare to confess what I had done to anyone and to take this heavy burden from my shoulders. I was just watching House Church [a SAT-7 PARS teaching program] and I know that God has forgiven me because of the blood of Christ. So I want to confess the truth before someone and I hope that no one is ever in a situation where they are forced to sell themselves. Of course, the Lord is pointing all to the right way, but it is the temptations of the enemy that draws people to evil.
After returning from Turkey I bumped into a man I had known some years before and he told me that it had been a long time since he had seen me and had missed me. He invited me out that night. I told him I am sorry but I cant. He asked why and I explained that I was a Christian and in Christianity we are not permitted to go out with someone in this way, to have a relationship or even look. He said: Really? If that is so I would like to be a Christian too because I would like to be with you and you are saying you cant.
I told him: If you want to become a Christian, become one for your own sake and not for me. I gave him a Bible I had in my bag and told him to read it and find out who Jesus is because it is for Him that I have given up the things I was doing and I am not willing to turn back.
He said: I am really happy that you have found what you wanted and are happy. I told him that Jesus saved me from the mire and I would pray that the Lord would save him too so that his mind would be renewed and he would stop doing the things that he was doing. I told him that if he comes to faith all his sins would be forgiven. I gave him the Gospel and went on my way.